Hello, pumpkins.

I’m Alex. More specifically, I’m Alex, and I’m a teenager. More importantly, I’m Alex, I’m a teenager, and I want to start my own freelance copywriting career.

I’ve already got my niche market – small, sexy businesses that need sexy web copy to match. I want to slather their webpages with jello, cool whip, and a delicious minty aftertaste that leaves their customers licking their lips for their product (and possibly a pina colada, but that’s a personal problem).

Slight catch, though. I’m not exactly sure how to get started. I know I must open a website (luckily, I took an HTML class not too long back), get a snazzy name, become known for what I’m doing, and just stick with it, but god, isn’t that sort of vague? I mean, I’m not asking to be spoon fed or anything, but how would I even go about getting my first few clients? Ooh, also – is it all even legal?

Explanations as well as links are appreciated. Thanks in advance. (I swear I’ll give red wine and a slap on the – oh wait, that will get me banned or something, you’ll have to settle for being selected as the best answer.)
"And exactly who would be writing copy for?"
Small firms who can’t afford to hire full-time copywriters. Cool ones.

It’s going to be a "thank you" gift for my parents.

They’re really into wine, and although I do like wine, and drink it quite regularly, I’m not a connoisseur and don’t know what to get them. I usually buy cheaper wine, around (or less) so I don’t know too much about more expensive wines. We don’t have a lot of money to spend, we were thinking between and . Nothing sweet, we don’t like sweet wines. And nothing that’s going to be too hard to track down at a store.

my mom bought some wine for special occasions, but i’ve never had this kind and its not my favorite. it’s called "2003 Chateau Des Mille Anges" i love red wine but this stuff is dry and bitter. how can i make it tastier and a little sweeter?

Hi, I wrote this a while ago and don’t know what to do to make it better, I know its long and if you take the time I will really be very grateful x

2

"Here we go doll, 62nd street,”
As Eddie helps get my luggage out of the trunk, I can’t believe the sight I’m seeing. My new apartment block is unbelievable; a green velvet rug leads into the doorway, with a matching canopy overhead, while a posh looking man stands at the door. I have only seen this kind of things in movies, but now I’m here and it’s all real.

"Well here you go, enjoy your new life in fabulous New York City," shouts Eddie.
"Thanks Eddie, give your ex wife my love," I laugh.
"Ha ha good old English humor," Eddie shouts out his cab window, as he drives away.

Just then as I’m looking around in astonishment, a man by the door walks up to me. He’s wearing a chauffeur hat, a smart looking suit and unbelievable shiny black shoes. I swear I could see my face in them if I looked down.
"Hi madam, I’m Maurice, I am the doorman and security for these apartments, would you like some help with your luggage?”
"Oh yes please, that would be great thank you sir,”.
"No problem, I might be a while," Maurice says, while looking at my six massive cases. "That’s fine Maurice," I say.

I could get used to this. They don’t have this kind of thing in England, where I am from; Cambridge. How cool would it be if you drove up to your house, and you had a doorman standing waiting to help with all your sale bags from a hard day shopping? Think about it, you could just go straight into the kitchen and pour yourself a glass of red wine, go back and sit on the sofa and just wave your hand in the direction to where you want your very own "Maurice" to put all your bags.

As I open the door to reception it’s like a palace. The same green velvet rug covers the whole space, over to the left is a large desk, which is all over marble and to the right is what looks like an expensive Persian rug with two large cream sofas. I really can’t believe this place, it looks better than my living room back home and its only reception!
As I approach the funny looking man at the desk, he’s on the telephone.
"Yes mum , I won’t be out late , listen, I gotta go , I have a resident to attend to , yes mum , ok love you too,”
He puts the phone down, and I try, unsuccessfully, not to laugh.
"Oh that was my mum, she just eh worry’s about my uhm… cats, if I’m out all night partying you know about them getting fed and stuff …. I don’t live at home still!" he says, with a tone I know means he is still living at home.

"Ah ok. Anyway I’m Sophie Smith, I’ve just moved here, and I’m renting out apartment 225," I say still slightly laughing.
"Ah Sophie, lovely to meet you, how was your flight, I’m Eugene, "
Eugene I think to myself, I should have known that. He looks like a Eugene; you know tall, blonde, glasses as thick as milk bottle bottoms, and I can’t believe what he’s wearing. A checked shirt with braces and fawn old man trousers.
"Eh yes my flight was fine thanks, do you have my key?"
He is looking at me like I’m a complete ***** but to be honest I’m just too stunned, by the way, he’s dressed to say anything else.

Just as I’m about to walk to the lift, I hear a bang, I look around to see poor old Maurice trying to navigate himself and my heavy cases through the door. The poor man maybe I should go help? Nah not this time I mean I have never had this doorman experience before and after all it is his job, he will probably be offended if I ask him if he needs help.

I get in the lift which is bigger than my old box room, and push the number four button. Ding, the doors open and there are just rows and rows of doors and green velvet carpet. I start to walk looking at the doors as I look for my number; finally I find my door, three doors from the end of the hallway. I put my key in the keyhole and turn.

"WOW”. There is a large hallway before I even get into the living area. On the right of the wall is a couple of expensive looking art pieces, I think they are expensive; I mean I have never really been an art lover. On the left are three doors. I look in the first, which is a large bedroom. It’s gorgeous; there is a four poster bed straight ahead and behind it a large window with absolute stunning cream curtains. I then go out and head for door number two, it’s a bathroom with the biggest bath I have ever seen and two sinks, why two sinks? Maybe one is for washing and the other is for brushing your teeth, maybe that’s how they do it here in New York. The toilet pan is gold , well not real gold but gold in color , I hope it’s not real gold if it is I will be scared to use it

Ok time for door number three , I feel like I’m on Blind Date , it’s an old program back home where you sit behind a screen and choose a date from mystery men numbered one to three.
I can’t believe it, it’s another bedroom, a lot smaller but with no bed, what am I going to use it for? Maybe just a big massive walk in wardrobe that would be useful.

I come out and close the door feeling pleased with myself, that I’m already feeling at home. I walk down the hall and enter a large open plan living room and kitchen. I don’t even notice the kitchen at first because to be honest I don’t really like kitchens, I’m not much of a cook, believe it or not.

Straight ahead, past the big chocolate brown corner suite and the big plasma on the wall is a large bay window which opens out onto a balcony. I go out onto the balcony and the sight takes my breath away, CENTRAL PARK! How did I not notice that down at the door?

i am about to be married in about 8 weeks. i havent talked to my dad since october when my grandmother died, and before that, august of 2008. when i talked to him after my grandmother died, i decided that if he was really interested in talking to me(as he claimed), he would call me or email me himself. he never (& still hasnt to this day) called or emailed me once. i believe a lot of it has to do w/ my mother. my mother, for a mother(i have had 2 children, one of which passed at 2 1/2 months old from sudden infant death syndrome, and one who will be a year old in less than a week) never seemed to bond with me or love me. i might get frustrated with my one year old, but i always apologize and let him know that i love him no matter what and always try to make sure he is safe and loved. i also try to make sure he knows im proud of him, even though he is as young as he is. my mother was only happy when my accomplishments reflected well on her. in her mind i was the worst child ever. in her opinion she should have shipped me off to military school @ 5 years old(she actually said this to me & other people on more than one occasion). i wasnt allowed to do stuff that other kids my age were doing(normal age appropriete stuff-like at 16, getting a normal job that paid at least minimum wage, riding in cars with your friends, etc.). she always tried to say that "oh you have ADD, so you are 3 years behind."- which is totally untrue, b/c i asked my aunt who is a special ed teacher about it. my mother would say this, then be mad when i didnt bring home straight A’s. my mother would ground me for the least little thing(if i breathed wrong i was grounded as a teenager-literally), but allowed my sisters to run wild(i used to maybe be able to make one 5 to 10 min. phone call a day, whereas my sister, who was 13 at the time, was allowed to stay on the phone for literally 5-8 hours at a time- it got bad enough half way through my junior year, i took all of my christmas money and bought a cell phone just so i could call people i needed to). when i got older, and i finally left b/c i couldnt take it anymore, my mother started spreading more rumors about me(she had been telling family members and friends of hers COMPLETELY UNTRUE things-like outrageously untrue things, like i was an alcoholic, that i was skipping class-i NEVER, in the whole of my hs career, skipped class; i was the one telling my friends to go back to class and NOT skip-, etc. for years- i was actually a pretty good teenager by more than a few peoples definition). she claimed i only moved out so i could " go clubbing all the time" & be a drug addict(even though i had never done drugs in my life & only went out periodically, most of the time to some where out to dinner, not to the club after i moved out), an alcoholic, and a prostitute(i RARELY drank a glass of red wine with dinner, and i lived with my boyfriend at the time b/c it was cheaper than having my own place, & we split rent, bills, etc. straight down the middle). when i had my first child(this was about 2 years after i moved out and had been living by myself until i met my soon to be husband and had been living w/ him b/c he wanted to live together, and his house was better baby quarters than my one bedroom apt.), she was on her best behavior. when my first child passed however, she immediately started blaming me and saying i killed my child, then saying that me and fh conspired to kill our child, then fh had killed my child and i had better watch my back b/c i was next(i think she started this rumor b/c one of her friends grandchildren was killed and her friend got attention-twisted as that is). she also said that any child we would have would die, and that she would do everything in her power to have any subsequent children taken away(& some people have said to me "oh she was grieving/hurt"- i dont care what is going on, there are some things you just dont say to your child, esp. after they have just lost their only child, in infancy at that, & found their child dead.). she was saying this even a year or more after the fact. she got mad b/c i took my father out for fathers day & refused to go out to dinner later that night out of spite.

my father had only been really getting run through the ringer so to speak b/c of my mothers actions & my mothers jealousy of his love for me. i read back through his emails to me & a lot of them have a "i have to go behind her back to see you" feel to them, along w/ a "i’m not telling you the truth/anything" ring to them. here are some examples:

Mom is using her scanner to start scanning the pictures, so this will help out some. She said she has about 200 photos of (my first child). She emailed me some here at work just to make sure she was doing it right and she is. By the way, Mom said that she has not seen the toaster oven or dishes when she was cleaning out the shed. She said she thought we took that stuff to the storage build (my inlaws) had rented. I think
she started this rumor b/c one of her friends grandchildren was killed and her friend got attention-twisted as that is). she also said that any child we would have would die, and that she would do everything in her power to have any subsequent children taken away(& some people have said to me "oh she was grieving/hurt"- i dont care what is going on, there are some things you just dont say to your child, esp. after they have just lost their only child, in infancy at that, & found their child dead.). she was saying this even a year or more after the fact. she got mad b/c i took my father out for fathers day & refused to go out to dinner later that night out of spite.

my father had only been really getting run through the ringer so to speak b/c of my mothers actions & my mothers jealousy of his love for me. i read back through his emails to me & a lot of them have a "i have to go behind her back to see you" feel to them, along w/ a "i’m not telling you the truth/anything" ring to them.
here are some examples:

Mom is using her scanner to start scanning the pictures, so this will help out some. She said she has about 200 photos of (my first child). She emailed me some here at work just to make sure she was doing it right and she is. By the way, Mom said that she has not seen the toaster oven or dishes when she was cleaning out the shed. She said she thought we took that stuff to the storage build (my inlaws) had rented. I think I remember the toaster oven going there, but I don not know about the dishes.

What time Wed. morning ? I usually get home around 9 or 9:30.

Dad

my dishes went to their house & after this email i found them in the cupboards of their house. they also took a bunch of my things prior to this.
(cougar2342),

I hate doing this, but I will have to ask you not to come over to the
house. Your mother does not want to see or talk with you and she has
informed that if you do come over will not come back to the house until
you have left. The only reason I am asking this of you is this….your
grandmother gets very agitated when she knows your mother should be home
and is not.
I try to do whatever I can to pacify your grandmother, but she looks to
your mom for almost everything and gets very upset if your mom is not
there when she should be.

You do not know how much this saddens me. I have been literally pulled
apart for the last 3 years. Right now I have done some thing that
greatly upset your mother and I don’t want to rock the boat any more. I
will see about letting you get the copies you want as soon as I can.

Once again you do not realize how sad it makes me to write this letter.
Despite your mother’s feelings, I will always love my (insert childhood nickname).

Love,
Daddy

Is there anytime that you will be in Raleigh before Christmas ? I want
to see you, but I am not going to say anything to anyone else and you
know why ? I don’t trust anybody at the house except your grandmother
and that is only because if I tell her anything she will forget it.
E-mail me back please. I will be working tonight and tomorrow night.
What is your schedule Sunday morning ? I might be able to swing by your
house after work. Let me know.

Love,
Daddy

I have a lengthy e-mail that I need to send to you concerning her. I
cannot write right at this moment due to work constraints.

I love you and want to see you soon. We will need to talk. E-mail me it
is better that way at this point, she is on a rampage. I will check my
mail today at home. We got the letter from the M.E. I hope you don’t
mind that I opened it to see if anything else was added to what I had. I
love you sweetie and I hope to talk to you soon.

Love, Daddy
What about Thursday ? That works better for me. I don’t know where the
video’s are.

Mom wants to know a truthful answer as do I as to why you are wanting all
this now. Also, doesn’t (fmil) have copies of the autopsy ? That is what I was
told when I asked for one of the copies before they mysteriously disappeared
from the kitchen drawer.

i had emailed them for copies of my first childs death certificate, autopsy report, and videos & photos as i had very few photos & none of the other stuff. fmil had hidden all of the ones that had come to the house.
for perspective, here is an email he sent me a few hours earlier while he was at work:

Do you want the original death certificate or a copy ? I thought you
already had a copy of the autopsy report.
I’ll have to talk to Mom about photos and videos. We just got some back a
week or two ago that had (first child’s) last visit with us. The medical examiner’s
phone number is 333-333-3333, but I can’t remember her name.

Love, Dad
more emails & email excerpts:

I’ll work on it. I don’t know how soon on the videos and pictures. Mom
has to go to Tennessee to work some more on the house and she will be
gone all next week.

Call me at about 10:15 tonight when I am on my way to work. I need to talk
to you.

Love,
Dad

these are in regard to when i asked him for info for financial aid:

(cougar2342),

I talked to a guy at work that is very familiar with these forms and he told
me that since WE do not support (food, shelter, etc) you and since YOU are
not claimed on OUR income tax, YOU do not need OUR financial information.
You have been living in the (inlaws) household and they have provided YOU
with shelter and I am sure food. I am sorry to be so harsh, but that is a
fact of life. This sounds to me like it could border on fraud (since you
have not been living with us) as far as income goes and I am NOT going to be
dragged into a possible mess.
YOU chose to be on your own and to be all grown up. You have been out on
your own for almost 3 years now. You cannot keep dragging us into your
messes, dumping us, and then expecting us to come back for more of the same.
We do love you, but we have 2 other children and your grandma to look after
too.

I will see you Thursday morning.

Love,
Dad

I have looked into this form (cougar2342) and given the past history that you have
given me about your personal correspondence and other papers I have to say
no. Your mother will not let me give out her social security number and I am
not comfortable giving out mine. That is too much information for me not to
have control over it. I am sure there is other financial aid available, but
I will not give out our social security numbers under the present
circumstances. I know you’re mad and I’m sorry, but I will have to stick to
my guns on this one.

Dad

there was no history on the personal correspondence, & regardless i was asking them to
submit their forms online.

(cougar2342),

The FAFSA requires that I supply mine and your mother’s social security
numbers, our bank balances (on the date the form is signed, and our last
year’s income. Given your present circumstances, I will absolutely not give
out our social numbers. That information is too sensitive for me to let you
have.

Your Mom and I do love you, but we cannot and will not give you this
information at this time.

By the way, someone told me that you did not need to fill out a FAFSA form
unless you had been accepted to a college. Have you and which one?

Love,
Dad

at this point i had even given him the number for the financial aid office.

at this point we didnt even tell them when i got pregnant w/ our 2nd child as we were concerned as to what my mother might try to do, and we were trying to eliminate as much stress as possible(we had a miscarriage a year prior and were doing everything we could to make sure it didnt happen again).
we didnt tell my dad until #2 was 3 mos. old, &explained to him why we did what we did. he understood, & was really happy(we also told him about our engagement, & he was even more happy). he talked to me later in the week, & asked to see our 2nd child. i told him that i couldnt that weekend as fh wasnt going to be around to take me, & that i had to have fh w/ me as he was the only one at the time our 2nd child would take a bottle from(and our child was feeding every hour-he was big and breastfed, so it was a necessity to have someone whom i knew he would take a bottle from, b/c he REFUSED to take one from me at all). he got quiet, then i got this email a few days later. some thing about my dad here, my father has never been slow to anger in all his life. in fact he has always had a quick temper and would be one of the first to tell you if he didnt like something.
Minoka,

I was thrilled to find out about Conner and that he is healthy. There
are some things I am not thrilled about. I am slow to anger on a lot of
things and I have tried to reconcile you and your mother. I can see that
that is not going to happen. I just want you to know that I have seen
your Mother hurt, but her heart is broken and this time I am unable to
pick up the pieces. If you wanted to hurt her, you did a very good job
of it this time. This is totally unacceptable. Your Mother and I have
our problems and we are trying to work through them, but your untimely
shenanigans cause even more problems. I am not going to try and defend
any more of your behavior. It has torn our family apart on too many
occasions and I am tired of picking up the pieces left behind. When you
told me that I am going to have to get approval from Robert to see
Conner, that is just taking things over the edge. I never dealt that
way with your grandparents and my parents did not make comments like
that to my grandparents. I can see another game being played with my
emotions and an innocent child being used as the weapon. I, myself
cannot accept that. I have already have had too much hurt. I am also
tired of continually picking up the mess that gets left in the wake of
these games. Your Grandmother Stewart told me about you having the
miscarriage and saying that you Mother stressing you out caused it.
That is bull !!!!! You were the one calling your Mother to complain
life at the Richter’s and your Mother provided you a sounding board. I
have made a decision that is very tough for me to make, but since you do
not seem to want us to have anything to do with your life (unless it is
of benefit to you) then stay out of ours. I am sorry to have say this,
but I am at my wits end trying to once again pick up the pieces. If this
stresses you out, my apologies. I have had plenty of stress and plenty
of hurt myself. I hope you all have a happy life together. Don’t try
calling me,
I won’t answer.

Dad

P.S. Don’t try to get Grandma to get me to change my mind. I have
thought long and hard about my feelings on this.
this email was copied to my mother.

i would love to have a relationship w/ him, but my mothers behaviors & actions are making that impossible. she is manipulating him and my sisters so that she can keep them all to her self and her own little reality(she deliberately tried to keep me from learning about anything that she couldnt control). i miss my dad, the person he was when he was out of her control, and my sisters when they were out of her control.

I recently learned of the health benefits of red wine,but I cant order any while out,because I dont want to look foolish and unsophisticated.It also comes in handy washed down with a midol for those really crappy days! .Im sick of buying wine coolers,like that cheap "Boones Farm"or "boxed wine at the liquor store.Its embarrassing!

heyy there!!

i need help removing red wine on a blue cotton dress shirt and rum on a white cotton dress shirt.. theyve been there for over a week and I tried using a "vanish bar for pre-wash" and it helped but didnt remove the stains!!

I heard club soda or hydrogen peroxide work but is it too late for club soda and will hydrogen peroxide remove the colour on a cotton shirt????

THANK YOU ALL..!

I belong to a wine club and I live in Oklahoma. It’s hot here now and my most recent delivery, one bottle you can see the cork starting to bulge out (even so it hasn’t broken through the foil) and the other bottle, there’s a little "syrup" around the foil at the top of the cork. Are these wines now bad? I just wanted to take them to my parents for a really really casual dinner; but I’m wondering if I should bring back up wines, too? Thanks a million! Cindy PS Both wines are reds, Italian, Valpolicella.